Written by Clea Princessa Justine
Secondary 2, SIS Palembang

Teenagers are not a stable group of people. We are often reckless, selfish, and uncontainable. Are we hard to maintain? Definitely. As we develop in this phase, we are going through changes that are hard to control as us teens don’t know anything about it. Therefore, in this essay I will try to explain what, in my opinion, should be focused on while we are growing.

The phrase “True Identity” is overrated. It is, in fact, used in many clichés and teen story plots. Often, it is used to describe a certain person’s actual self, the way they behave when their walls are down. It is normally associated with people who turn out to be someone completely different than they usually are. However, in my opinion, this short phrase is way stronger than that.

As I quote from Fredric Neuman M.D. the Director of the Anxiety and Phobia treatment Centre, “People don’t start off knowing who they are exactly. During all the stages of growing up, children are told how they should behave in different situations: at school, with siblings, with parents, and so on. They have to see themselves acting in a certain characteristic way towards friends in order to come to understand themselves as a friend.”

This quote illustrates the reason why this issue happened in the first place. As said, from a young age, children are taught how to act. This equals to gender stereotypes, certain family traits, and other things that might be relevant to parents on how their children should act.

It goes beyond behavior, too. The things we like and the people we are comfortable with also define us as a person. The main problem is that children are not stable enough to lead their own decisions. I do believe this is serious, as this may lead to teenagers not developing proper personalities. They will grow up being pretentious and it wouldn’t be very healthy mentally.  How can they ever learn how to appreciate themselves this way?

But why do I think this is harmful?

Certain limitations will prevent a person to achieve their own set goals, and instead try to achieve goals someone else had set for them. This is why some people grow up without dreams, without a specific light to follow.

I believe that “True Identity” means everything related to that person. Therefore, don’t you think it should be their choice? No one would want to be controlled, after all, we’d like to be who we are as a person, not someone everybody likes. I would like to remind my fellow teenagers to start discovering new things, maybe, a part of their true self is hidden among those cracks. You’re the one you should love first, before anybody else.